A Guide to a Queen's Assisted Wedding

I have been involved with a number of assisted weddings. Many of my characters have been flower girls, bridesmaids, and maids of honor (always a bridesmaid, never a bride *sniff*). However, it was as a cleric that I got most closely involved with the preparation of assisted weddings.

As I spoke with many couples who are planning assisted weddings, I found out that many of them had no idea the many possibilities their wedding package offered them. To see their options so under-utilized was disturbing to me. Thus, I have prepared this guide in the hopes that future happy couples will be able to make the most of their special day.

If you, the reader, are planning to have an assisted wedding, I hope that you find this guide useful in deciding what to prepare. Below, I have also listed some sites that are helpul in designing your wedding items, or choosing your wedding area.

Good luck to you!

   Sorenne Naxela
   Cleric of Hav'roth

P.S. You may want to check out GameMaster Tvini's website.


The Wedding Party
Items and Other Special Wedding Features
    20 Items
    Additional Items
    Possibility of specially ordered food items
Other Arrangements You Can Make on Your Own
Recommended Links
Logs of weddings I had a hand in


Important Factor: Preparation
Give yourself and the Wedding Team plenty of time to go over your wedding plans.

I cannot stress the importance of preparation enough. The Wedding Team is often busy with not only your wedding, but most likely others as well. It is very important that you give them plenty of time to look through your wedding plans, so that if there needs to be adjustment, you will not find yourself scrambling around at the last minute finding a suitable alternative.

Hasty decisions can lead to regrets.

Unforeseen problems can arrive, and you may be forced to work at the last moment to pull off the most wonderful moment of your life. Do not panic. Your Wedding Team are very skilled people who has a plethora of experiences to aid you.

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The Wedding Party
Ah, this is probably the easiest decision you will need to make for your wedding. Deciding on who you want for your wedding party.

  • Groom
  • Bride
  • Father of the Bride
  • Maid/Matron of Honor
  • Best Man
  • Bridesmaid
  • Flower Girl
  • Ringbearer
  • Cleric
The list above is the standard assortment of people. Do not feel obliged to stick to that. Other than the Bride and Groom, all other positions are adjustable.

Ah, did I hear a gasp of shock that I did not even include the Cleric as a necessary member of the Wedding Party? I assure you it was not an accidental oversight. Wedding ceremonies need not follow traditional methods.

In the first assisted wedding I presided over, there was a personal bodyguard assigned to me in the wedding party. :)

If you want to be unusual, you could have an avant-garde wedding with just the wedding couple doing their own ceremony, or perhaps a lesser known tradition where it is the Patriarch and Matriarch of each family must preside over the union. The possibilities are endless....

There is nothing wrong with sticking with tradition, of course. I am fond of traditional ceremonies myself. Keep your options open.

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Items and Other Special Wedding Features
As you know, you are allowed 20 customized items for your wedding, along with other perks. It is often the perks that are overlooked, or misunderstood. I will list everything that you can obtain for your wedding, as well as the 20 stated items.

20 Items
This is fairly simple. You are allowed to create 20 items for your wedding. These do not include large containers, weapons or armor. Clothing, accessories, and jewelry are the popular choices.

These items must be new. Already existing items cannot be altered. Verbed items will not be created either. Read the wedding guidelines carefully. (or view Sarilya's posted copy of the wedding guidelines.)

Of the 20 items, you are allowed a combination up to 4 pocketed items, 4 verbed items and 4 jewelry items.

You can have separate items of each type OR you can combine any of these. E.g. 1 verbed pocketed jewelry item, or 1 pocketed verbed item. Just remember, whatever combination you choose, you can have only up to 4 of each type.

Pocketed - Since the pocketed items tend to err on the smallish size with containers: I personally recommend making pocketed cloaks. Purses, pouches, and belts are other common pocketed examples.

Verbed - Verbed items are limited to items that are sold in Elanthian stores. That means NO verbed cloak/knife/whatchamacallit that was sold at a fest. Only stuff that can be found in PERMANENT stores can be used for verbed items. E.g. the devotional jewelry sold at the cleric shop in Shard's Temple of Light, the tansil and other verbed jewelry sold on Aesry, and so on. It HAS to be an item that you can easily go to the shop and buy. No combining verbed items either. What you can buy is what you can make.

Jewelry - Do I really need to explain what jewelry is? :P

How you choose to divide the items is up to you. You can divide all 20 items equally between the bride and groom, or give an item or two to some members of your wedding party. For example, you could let your cleric create something to wear for the wedding, or give an item to each or some members of your wedding party.

Additional Items
Other than the 20 items, you are also allowed to design other unique items:

  • Wedding invitations for guests.
  • Bouquets for the bride and the bridesmaids
  • Boutennieres for the groom and the best man
  • Flower basket for the flowergirl
  • Rosettes (and ribbons in some wedding areas) that guests may pick as a memento of the wedding.
Yes, you can wear special titles. It is often a good idea to submit beforehand a list of titles that your wedding party will wear. However, I have noticed that titles tend to be chosen at the last moment. It never hurts to be prepared though. Titles denoting nobility (Lord, Lady, etc.) or royalty (King, Prince, Queen, Princess, etc.) will most likely not be allowed.

Yes, you can have whacky and crazy titles. :)

This feature is probably the most overlooked option for weddings. You are allowed special messaging for your wedding. These should be submitted early so that your Coordinator can look through them and decide if they are suitable, or adjust them to be more aesthetically pleasing.

The messaging for each "event" can either be one instance (just one paragraph), or drawn out over a period of time (broken into a few messagings leading up to the event).

Example of instances:
- A swarm of rainbow-winged butterflies swirl over Bride Dealle, creating an iridescent living halo above her head. The butterflies scatter as she takes her place beside Groom Bartog.

Example of a leading event:
- Ringbearer Alrod leans down to untie the ring pouch from his baby raccoon's neck, and falls over as it suddenly hops away from him.
   The baby raccoon nimbly avoids Alrod's attempts to retrieve the pouch. It chitters loudly as it playfully scampers around the altar with Alrod futilely chasing it.
   With a shake of her head, Bridesmaid Shanna swiftly picks up the raccoon just as it runs past her foot. Scratching the baby raccoon under its chin, she gently unties the pouch and hands it to a sheepish Alrod.

Messaging can be arranged for:

  • Individual or group arrivals of wedding party members
  • Cameo appearances, such as the avatar of a god, or a warrior mage's companion, etc...
  • Special moments, such as a wedding ritual, or a planned "surprise" event.
  • Atmospheric effects, such as an orchestra playing. (Bear in mind that each wedding area also comes with its own atmospheric messaging so check to make sure there's no repetition in your own personal atmospheric messaging) I recommend creating messaging with 1-3 lines of reasonable length. If it is too short, the messaging could get swallowed up by the scroll at the wedding, and if it is too long, it just becomes longwinded.

    You can make it humorous or solemn. However, remember that when many humorous events occur at your wedding, it will most likely encourage your guests to be boisterous...maybe even rowdy (causing lots of scroll).

    If you do not want too much scroll but still keep a lighthearted feel to your wedding, I recommend for a more casual wedding atmosphere, intersperse humor with some solemnity to hopefully maintain a cheerful but controlled atmosphere.

    Another recommendation: When deciding the theme or style of your unique messaging, take into account the atmosphere of your chosen wedding area. It could be a little odd to have a formal procession in a beach surrounding, or a casually rowdy procession at an elegant wedding chapel. These are not out of the question, but the conflicting themes could be out of place if the wedding surroundings are not taken into account.

    It would make your wedding even more special if the chosen area is considered when your messaging are designed. (Early planning will aid in customizing your wedding.)

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    Possibility of Specially Ordered Food Items
    It may be possible to request specific food items, other than the cake. I recommend making this an early request. Usually, your Wedding Coordinator will be able to prepare a suitable banquet if your designs and plans for the wedding are clearly themed. If you want a banquet based on certain generic (roses, wild warrior, chocolate) or racial themes, you could speak to the Coordinator to request a special theme.

    Other Arrangements You Can Make on Your Own
    There are many other things that you can arrange for your wedding without the Wedding Team's assistance. Remember that the Wedding Team are not the only people who can make glorious things happen. The possibilities are limitless.

    For example:
    - a bard or a troupe of bards hired to perform at your wedding.
    - a greeter at the front of the portal arranged for invited guests who forgot to bring their invitations.

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    Recommended Links:
    Cattriona's GemStone III Library - A helpful page for alteration designing. (Keep in mind that this is for Gemstone 3. Not all suggestions are appropriate for DR standards)
    Kiss of the Witch - There are wedding and alteration helper (DragonRealms adjusted mirror page of Cattriona's Helper) Guides provided.

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    Logs of Weddings I Performed
    I had a hand in planning these events, so I'm extra proud of the wedding ceremony. :)